I love my laydee, its rare that i connect with someone like thatn Maddie is my woman and yay and stuff.
And i love my mister. Like actually. Why cant he just come home with me every night ):
And i love all my friends. Thems funny.
And i love today. it was just so chilled and beautiful.
Fuck yes I love karma. Sow a good seed, harvest a good crop.
Reblogging to casually remind myself why NOT to relapse. I cab do this!Anorexia nervosa fucks you up from the inside and out. It fucks up your head, your personality, your body, your sanity, your skin, your hair. It eats you from the inside until there is nothing left. You become your disease, it will be what people think when they see you. The only things that goes around in your head is how you are going to skip the next meal without anyone knowing, how you will lose weight quicker, how fat and ugly you are, how you are going to dress to hide all the fat that’s not really there, how you are going to cover up the fact that you’re sick to the bone. People will leave you, but those who stay and tries to help you are only in the way if they break your system. You will beat yourself up if you eat more than what you had planned, you will not be able to sleep at night, you will cry of disgust when you look at yourself in the mirror, your self-hatred will be bigger than the universe itself. You’re living in a hell and you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel unless you allow someone to lead you there. Even tho you don’t believe it when you’re in it, but there is a life after anorexia nervosa. I’ve been there and I got out, but I woulnd’t if I didn’t got the help I needed.
(Source: multicolors, via fraiilbones)
(via litost--toska)
(Source: why-am-i-fucking-pathetic, via scare-c-r-o-w)
It’s been a HORRIFIC BDD day. Woke up, stayed in bed for hours, hiding from everything. Its been one of those days where I have to avoid my reflection. I turned all my mirrors away/covered them with jackets as soon as I had finished making myself presentable for the world.
Redid my makeup 600 times because I kept breaking and spoiling it. The things this fucking disorder does to you like, I can’t even look at myself some days without crying for fuck sake.
It was only stood to get worse. Got changed for work in the bathroomms there. I had my newer work jeans for the first time in a few weeks. They dont fit me anymore. I am so fucking fat that I’m just outgrowing all my clothes item by item. I disgust myself. I have no self restraint. I just fucking -eat-.
They call it “recovery” and yeah, so, that’s what it’s supposed to be and I act like I’m proud of it and ok with it and working it like a boss but honestly? No matter how much of it is genuine effort in me trying to better myself, theres this huge chunk of me that screams ITS BECAUSE YOUR WEAK AND DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY NO.
Gourmande.
I will lose weight. I will try my fucking damndest not to get carried away and fall below 7stone again. 98lbs is so inviting though… no shh shut up. I just wanna drop 5 or 6 lbs. I wanna fit my clothes. I want my flat stomach back, a little teeny bot more bone definition, my fucking attraction.
I am seriously hideous. Maybe I only think this today because its a bad day. Maybe I only think this today because i’m tired of lying to myself and took a break from it this morning…. Who knows. All I know is the diet starts now. Not tomorrow. Now.
woahgirl.
Switch this one about, Tori! This message could have been sent by me <3
I mean, do you have any idea how much of an inspiration to me it is that you fought so hard againt hurting yourself? In all ways!? You did it. If you can, I can too. If I can, so can you. Lets have a moment of mutual love ok?!
Ofc i find a reason to smile every day. Everyone does. I hope you lack a reason to frown somedays ;D much sunnier!
WHAT IS MY PROBLEM. Maddie is my problem, she just constantly tells me its ok to spend my money on random shit. Shes such a bad influence, but at least I get pretty things out of it!!
Posting this publicly so my lovely followers can see how great you for giving up purging! I’m proud of you for that.
I’ve never ever thought of myself as an inspiration to anyone, in any way, kind of strange to think someone else thinks I am… but a good strange. Thankyou! You are an inspiration to me for fighting your demons pretty lady! We can beat these things. We are stronger than this :)
Good luck with your recovery, and throw me a line sometime to let me know how you’re doing! <3
Anonymous:*blushes*
Today is a terrible BDD day. I’m not beautiful, but telling me I am makes me feel better anyway. <3 Thankyou
Amen&Word&Stuff
(Source: theirgraves, via torment-ed)
I think I want this tattooed on me, it’s the cutest thing
Interviewer: Give us your best tip for overcoming depression. Stephen Fry: To regard it as being like the weather. It’s not your responsibility that it’s raining but it is real when it rains, and the fact that it’s raining does not mean that the rain is never going to stop. The only thing to do is to believe that, one day, it won’t be raining and accept it so you can find a mental umbrella to shield yourself from the worst. The sun will eventually come up.
And people tell me this isn’t the place to talk about personal things and seek support?
On my facebook over 60 people are online and I can talk to NONE of them, my boyfriend doesn’t have a phone and is chilling with friends being all happy anyway, my family are useless…
Say I feel like crap. 4 messages in 5 minutes. Thankyou tumblr. I don’t care what I’m told, I’m not giving up this support system!
In recovery! This is a positive blog, I am in no way pro ana/mia, self harm or anything. I just wanna maybe share the hope I'm planting in my life with other people who want to recover, support them, and recieve a little encouragement from people who know what it's like to be inanse!
Apparently the only cure to this is finding faith and believing in...
come off anon? <3
